Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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