Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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