Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
