how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
