The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
