I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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