So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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