he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This baby is an asshole
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
