Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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