lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize