Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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