im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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