This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize