how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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