"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize