I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
