I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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