a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
