he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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