He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
