I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
