I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize