her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
