Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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