she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize