what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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