TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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