wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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