Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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