I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize