He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
