that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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