Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
