YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
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Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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