Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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