i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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