she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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