Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
