your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
