sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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