if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
