I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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