what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
