i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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