we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
