I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
