Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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