I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
4 words: hood of his car
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
