he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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