I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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