i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
