It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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