So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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