We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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