i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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