My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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