you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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