There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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