i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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