You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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