dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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